Still Alive

Cake, and grief counseling, will be available at the conclusion of the test... 

                                 

This is your fault. I'm going to kill you. And all the cake is gone. You don't even care, do you? 

 Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like
  "No way!" 

And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great!

 All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees kelvin. Rest assured, that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. Thank you for participating in that Aperture Science Enrichment activity. Goodbye!

  

Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that. Don't let that "horrible person" thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep.

Also, look at her you moron. She's not fat. 

  Don't disappoint me, or I'll make you wish you could die.

 Believe me, I'm still alive.